"Heh, yeah, I guess I was."
God. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. Kill yourself.
"When I was here… there was this awful group of kids. They didn't go out of their way to bully anyone or anything, but they were always saying these really nasty, hateful things. They were pretty clearly bigoted in a lot of ways."
Yeah, you'd know, wouldn't you. Why are you even telling her this? What good does it do you? She clearly already thinks you're such an upstanding and honest person anyways.
"I obviously didn't hang around them myself, but I used to… have a friend who did. Red flag, I know, but I used to think she wasn't as bad as them." Uh huh. "I never saw her acting out the way they did, only chasing after their approval, and I thought it made her different from them. 'She's not doing anything wrong,' I told myself. 'All she wants is to make a few friends, and she just happened to pick the wrong people.' I used to think I could fix her, ahaha."
You didn't even TRY to distinguish yourself from them. Even in the beginning, it wasn't some kind of honest mistake. You knew what you were doing, and you took pleasure in doing it, you lying sack of shit.
"So I kept my faith in her. Even as she kept nodding her head along with the terrible stuff they'd say, I didn't give up talking to her, because I thought eventually she'd just realize and turn herself around."
It's not even like you just passively agreed with them. That'd be one thing. You went out of your fucking way to back them up on things, and you spouted the same horrible fucking bullshit they did because you ENJOYED it, not because anyone was telling you to. This disgusting fucking victim fantasy aside, even your 'friend' here would've been a better person than you in this situation. Think about that, huh? You literally won't even tell her what you did from your hypothetical observer's position because you're too much of a selfish fucking coward. All of this has to be about you, it all has to fit into your pretty perfect image, or else they'd realize how much you deserve to kill yourself as much as you already know you do. You should've gone through with it back then, just before you were about to move away. It would've been a proper ending. Instead you ran away to that quiet little town and wormed your way into a second chance out of the kindness of others' hearts. And you've abused that kindness over and over again. Autumn was right about you: you really did move there just to poison them all and drag them down with you. It's all you ever do. It'd be too good for you to leave this place alive a second time. But you'll get away with it, like you always do, because you're Ashley Laurier.
"...And... eventually I realized I just couldn't. Every time I'd try to talk her out of it, she'd shut me down, and I eventually had to understand that- that it was her choice to be with those people. There was no way she didn't know the kind of people they were, and she still decided to stick with them, never so much as branching out to any other, nicer kids. I learned... that clinging to bad people just makes you a bad person y-yourself."
Ashley notices her voice wavering. Is she about to cry? Really? She rubs at her eyes, still staring at the class picture. "My mental health got pretty horrible by the end of middle school. I was getting pulled out of classes by the teachers, I couldn't deal with it all, I just... I thought there was no hope for the rest of my life."
"...But then we decided to move. And it was really weird, and really, really f-fucking scary... And I met you, and Autumn. And you two showed me I could still have friends like a normal person... and live like a normal person... and love like a normal person. So..... th-thanks, I guess..." That little speech deserved an acting award. Bravo, truly. So convincing, and so sincere.
She's run out of things to say. (edited)